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We enjoy regular Sunday lunches together and if there’s someone I’m considering introducing our sons to, Christabel — who’s been with a new boyfriend for the past two years — will meet her first. But I was torn between spending time with Alison and seeing my boys.After two years, she ended it, saying she didn’t feel like a big enough part of my life.We’d been married two years and her death left a gaping hole in my life.I couldn’t imagine finding anyone to replace her, but I knew she would want me to be happy.I also hoped, selfishly, it would persuade my dates that I wasn’t to blame for my single status; that there was a legitimate, if tragic, reason.
Still trying to find my feet, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of not being as ready to start dating as I had thought and barely said a word.He has been internet dating since he and his wife of seven years, Christabel, 49, a writer, separated in 2008. But in the flesh she was plain and dumpy, not sylph-like and pretty, and as soon as I spotted her waiting for me in a bar in Canterbury for our first date in January 2010, it was clear she had doctored her picture. It seemed more convenient than using the lonely hearts columns and I felt I was too old to chat up women in bars and clubs.Incensed, I walked up to her and roared ‘You’re not tall and thin! I stated clearly on my profile ‘my past is part of me’ because Christabel and I remain great friends. My longest relationship was with Alison, a 50-something financial broker I met online in July 2010.For the last few months, I have been seeing a chef my age I met on the site. Before we even met, she admitted she’d come to snoop through the windows of my house to check I was above board. The next day I changed my profile to read ‘widowed a few months ago’.I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, but I hoped a brief summary of my marital status would explain my presence online.